I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
