The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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