am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
