Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
