I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
