I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
