Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
