My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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