im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
