OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
