i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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