My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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