North Korea, Best Korea!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
