Can i not drive my cunt home
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
