My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
