The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
