so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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