I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
