First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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