Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
