we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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