Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
