just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
