garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
