dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
