I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Never joke about your clitoris.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
