I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Text me some of your sweat
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