you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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