So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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