sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
