Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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