It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
