Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
