He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
