a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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