this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
