we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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