A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
