I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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