They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
