69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
