When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
