There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
