Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
