Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize