Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The air was thick with penises
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
