I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
