It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
