He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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