Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize