I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
