I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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