Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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