you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
