Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
