maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
