he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
nutella sex= disaster
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
