pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
