And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
