1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
